Imma need that in a gallon tub!!

You know they say never take advice from anyone that has not been through what you are going through. You know; never take relationship advice from someone who has never been married, never take style advice from someone who shops off the mannequin. Or my favorite, never take advice about life from anyone who has never died. I got that covered twice! It is like my PHD!!!! But today,

Where is my will power to work out?

The Frozen food aisle for all you can eat feelings with nuts and chocolate.  I know, I know you have heard it all. It is good for you, you will live longer, you will be healthier, your mind and blah blah and who gives a wet Cheeto! But why is opening a tub of ice cream easier than going to the gym.

Well the ice cream doesn’t look at me while I make awkward movements on a machine that I can’t figure out. Ice cream has never been next to me on a treadmill and drop sweat on me. Ice Cream has never taken off it clothes in the locker room and stood in front of me with the entire National Geographic subscription telling me about her garden. GOD, I hope it was her garden.  Also it does not walk around with shorts that are hugging his manhood with one string. Believe me I can go on and on but the truth of the matter is the best things for you aren’t always comfortable.

I am not trying to convince you to work out or go on some crazy diet were you eat seaweed and olive oil 3 times a day. I am trying to convince myself that it will be okay when I start back working out. But will it, will it really?

 I am the person that tore her meniscus while playing kickball at age 28. PLAYING KICKBALL???? Not saving a kitten from a burning building or catching a small child that was falling. I was playing a game that kids in elementary play and I ended up at the Urgent Care talking about I was running. First off, I can’t run! Me running looks like a bad science experiment were you are trying to train your body to ride a traditional bike with one foot. I don’t know where my arms and hands go. Do they match my feet, are the opposite my feet or do I just hug myself? I don’t know?! Then like breathing has to be incorporated. It is too much; I mean it is just too much. Then I go to the gym and try to do the machines and this is all types of wrong. I am on this thing that moves side to side and your standing and again; WHAT DO I DO WITH MY HANDS? Do I stand there just holding the bars? That can’t be a workout. I hear you; ZaKiya go into a class.

Oh a class! Don’t make me make you laugh. First off I can dance, let’s get that out and in the clear but I cannot do the routine that Maryanne has come up with to Cotton Eyed Joe. My feet don’t skip like that Partner. Then they have step classes. If I tore my meniscus running, you want me to jump around on a block with a touch of dancing while Gretchen is screaming out now grapevine. No thank you. Maybe I should just K.I.S.S.

Keep It Simple Stupid!! Walking is awesome and very free. I can do it with my Sullybug and I pick the scenery. But where do you find the motivation?!?! You know I just need to go. Pick a day, grab the baby, and go. But then I walk up the stairs and there is ice cream in the frig and I am back to square one; With a spoon.

Okay life is an ever changing bouncy ball. I know I don’t have forever so Why are we so hard on ourselves? Maybe I should just break out and dance really hard for 3 songs. Or maybe after dinner I should take Sully out for fresh air. I just gave myself all these solutions. You can start one day and it is small steps. We are not going to a 5 K on Friday and if you are I am sorry this blog is not for you. Maybe you could walk around your office twice for 15 minutes 3 days a week or maybe not. But stop holding yourself hostage to a health magazine. You have never see the picture of the author and it could be some guy name Greg that is eating a donut and drinking a Super Big Gulp. Whatever you decide be happy with that and if you are not happy then change it one step at a time. Don’t let others tell you about you. Unless it is me because you know I died twice sooooo I can kind of tell you. Laugh, Love and Laugh some more.

 

With Love and Cookies

 

 

 

SullyBugs Mom