I wanted 5 of these

I absolutely love being a mom, it is freaking awesome. It is the best thing I have ever done in this world. But I want to say, I take my hat completely off and bow down to those who have more than one kiddo. Whether you had them, adopted them, took care of them or just love them! It is a rough job. There was one time I wanted a house full of kids, then I wanted a house full of puppies. But then that TV show Hoarders and they said that was not okay.

After having some girlie issues, tons of money being spent and testing we decided to go on with the show. We went from maybe being able to have kids too you are pregnant within 2 months. But there was a time my biggest concern was how do I get that kid out! She got out just so you know.

My Sully is the sweetest little bundle of laughs, giggles, gums, snot and spit up that I have ever met. Some people will say ZaKiya how can you say bad things about kids and hey; that is okay. I’m grown and I have not slept in almost 2 years, so don’t judge me my brain does not know what it is doing  Ha! I don’t remember my life before her. I look at her and realize that I would give my life for her and I would throat check a grizzly bear for this little girl. But my LAWD, I am not sure if I could do it twice. Not because she is not awesome, but because I am absolutely terrified when I put her down to sleep, when I wake her up, if she sneezes and it does not sound like the last one..... I am terrified! Even if she does not poop that day, if she poops a lot, if she pees too much. I am developing Over Evaluating Parenting Situations Syndrome. I have diagnosed  Sully with allergies, a cold, earache, stomach virus, clubfoot and a headache. And you know what was wrong ?.....she was sleepy!!!  She just wanted to take a nap.

I know some of you are saying hey ZaKiya this is because you are a new mom. No, no and no! This has everything to do with TV and all my crazy friends. They all told me horror stories of projectile vomiting, explosive diapers, and never sleeping. Let me make this clear; all these things are real.

Projectile vomiting is like the waterfall of hell that jumps out of my 16lbs buttercup’s mouth. My Sullybug destroys my bed weekly; Crazy part is she doesn’t even move her mouth. It is almost like magic, no change in her behavior and she is just stone-faced. Sometimes she is looking at me like I spit up on her. Then I start asking questions like did I  do that? Well I don’t feel good maybe this is me.

Explosive diapers are like the Unsolved Mystery of Bigfoot.  How does this happen? Who is going to clean this up? Can I get money back on this diaper? Is this really going up her back? What the heck, how is this scientifically possible? Should I just set the clothes on fire in the front yard? What do I do with the baby after this? Should I just hose her off in the front yard? Again my child is sitting there like I did this to her. I thought she was screaming and it turns out that was me screaming at the top of my lungs because it is still moving up her back. It was so bad, I wanted to smoke a cigarette, take two shots of tequila and talk to a therapist. Maybe after you clean that up, a lady in a ball gown should come out with a martini and some shrimp.

NEVER SLEEPING ever, ever and ever again! My child wakes up to let me know that she was checking on me to make sure that I was checking on her. You’re welcome.  I just want to have 6 hours of sleep; I am not asking for 8. (Maniacal laugh from small man child with head back!) Sully-bug will cry with her eyes closed, eat with her eyes closed and stand up in her crib and her eyes are closed. I get in the bed; she wakes up, eyes opened. I get up to check on her she smiles and rolls over and goes back to sleep. What in the world child! Well thank you little miss missy for making sure that I will have bags under my eyes for the groceries. Paper or plastic ma’am? No just toss them into the bags under my eyes. Save our planet!

But in all fairness, she is the best part of me and my husband. I would stay awake for days if it means she will be safe. I would change a room full of dirty diapers if it improves her life. (A closet size room, like a broom closet for one broom.) I would let her projectile vomit all over her dad’s side of the bed, if she needed too. Because she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t take any of this for granted. When they say it is all worth it, it truly is. The look on her face when I walk in the room. The way she bites the fat part of my arm. How she rides my back when I am on the bed. I need and love it all. She will be the only baby I will ever have and I recognize how blessed I am but it is not easy work. I fought hard to have her and to be here with her. And she is worth it all!!!

Blessed are the women that love children. whether it is by birth, love, heart, adoption, family, or marriage! It is a rewarding job. Messy and somewhat stinky and sweaty and sticky oh and a wet job. But we do it ! And Ladies we  look good at it

With Love SullyBug’s Mom