2018 I Resolve to........

2018, I had this whole list of things I was going to do. The first one was going to the gym on January 1, 2018. I haven't left my house today. Are resolutions so outdated and mundane; that we just make them to feel like we are holding on to a tradition?

It is kind of like being 10 and still believing in Santa Claus. You know good and well he is not real; not because you do not have a chimney or that you found your parents credit card bill. But because  you just know and you do it anyway to make those around you believe in this magic.

However this 2018 lets makes some resolutions we can believe in and make happen. Like your best friend or sibling who does not have a voicemail. For the love of Track Phones just set up the voicemail. If you don't want a voicemail, just say, Hey this is Harry, Don't leave a VM text me. DONE!!!

But for the people who give those precious seconds waiting to leave a message and to be cut off like a bug's life on a windshield. Splat not a message left, because we can't.

We are all guilty; well some people may know about the newly, reused and refried grease on the stove. In 2018 lets DUMP IT!!!! We got french fries tasting chickish sticks!!! Use the grease and label it! There is no need of us to mix poultry and fish together anymore. Let go of Grandma's tradition and lets start with labeling our jars, butter tubs and other old containers.

Next lets agree to stop being secretive about how big mama or other relatives died. If she had diabetes, let us know so we can get better. You know go to the gym or walk the track at the school. If she had high blood pressure, that might be something we need to let our doctors know. How can we fill out that questionnaire about family history if you all are still saying that Uncle Q died from sugar.

Now if Nana died in the shower with some strange details, involving leather, chains or whips and someone else in the shower, make up something. Make up anything, like she was abducted by aliens and did not make it back. I mean anything, we cannot have anyone thinking strange about Nana.

The infamous mail drawer. This can be in the kitchen or in my house the top drawer of the dresser. Walk over and snatch all those papers out of there and buy a fireproof filing folder or cabinet. Stop being old skool. House catch on fire you gonna grab the whole top drawer? I get it! I have a cabinet and the drawer. But in 2018 I shall move the papers. Now when who knows but it will be before 2019.

Out with the old and in with the new. We all get; that the best undergarment is when it is old. I love some 1998 boy-shorts with limited elastic. But no, anything can happen. I hear all of you, but I'm in my house, Who is going to see me at home? So is the drawer with the papers. If the house catches on fire do you have time to get new undies and the papers. People, 2018 is about preparation. So throw away all those old bras, panties, pantyhose, men boxers, socks and t shirts. Throw them out and do not take them to Goodwill or other places for a tax credit. Just because someone does not have does not mean they want yours.

Also a good pair of new microfiber underwear with the right fitting legs and waist will have you on cloud 9. With old underwear they are sliding and you don't know where there are, that is why your attitudes are so bad. Bad undies cause bad focus. Bad focus can cause poor decisions. Poor decisions can make you do things that are illegal. Don't be that guy. Make good decisions and start with new undies.

I think all these things are doable! Here is to 2018, a year of real resolutions that we can live by and actually achieve.

Ho ho ho! Merry Happy New Year!!

Sullybugs Mama